Husband & Wife for Life: Her Adjustment
In recent lessons, we've noted that God has given man authority over woman although woman has been blessed with the ability to strongly influence man. We've also stated that God expects a man's wife to be his helper perfectly suited for him. Women, are you in submission to your husband? Are you endeavoring to be the kind of helper God would have you to be? If not, then it's time to make some adjustments. Here are some suggestions to consider. These should be implemented even if the husband is not fulfilling his God-given role very well.

1. Concentrate on adoring your husband.
There are two ways to get a man to do something: nag him or adore him. Women, adore him as you did when dating. Yes, you've come to realize that he's not perfect after all, but neither are you! Your husband doesn't need you to compete against him or repair him; he needs you to be his respectful, caring helper! If you concentrate on adoring him, I believe you'll be amazed at how your relationship can improve!

2. Choose to be in a pleasant mood every day.
You'll never earn your husband's respect by being grouchy or irritable. Those who regularly allow themselves to fall into bad moods will never enjoy a good marriage. May we imitate Paul's example in Philippians 4:11 - "I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content." Our attitude is something that we choose.

3. Resist the temptation to be dominant.
Women, God would have you to be feminine--devoid of domination and control. It's been said that a woman's greatest asset is her vulnerability. Don't give it up to be dominant! Be his wife; be a helper perfectly suited for him in every way.

4. Be his friend, playmate, and lover. View yourself as the woman God gave to your husband--because that's exactly who you are! You and your husband should be partakers together of the joy and happiness of life, not just its challenges and problems.

Is it easy to implement these suggestions? Is it a simple task for a wife to submit to her husband in all things and be the best helper for him that she can be? Absolutely not. There are women who are thinking to themselves right now: "I'm better qualified than my husband is to be in charge. I'm smarter and therefore better qualified to lead." No doubt there are many women who are much smarter than their husbands, but that doesn't make them better qualified to lead. If a person is not authorized to do something, then they can never be better qualified to do that thing! The same could be said concerning women elders or female preachers. Merely because they might have the ability to do the jobs well does not mean that they have God's approval or authorization to act in that fashion (cf. I Tim. 2:12; 3:1,2). Wives are to submit themselves to their husbands as unto the Lord--period (cf. Eph. 5:22). Whether the husband is smart or not is irrelevant. Whether he does dumb things regularly or not is immaterial. In fact, she should graciously follow his lead even if he is not spiritually minded (though she must not follow him into sin).

"But Stephen, this is hard. I wasn't raised to submit to a man but to be my own authority." In that case, pray for wisdom (cf. Jam. 1:5). Genuine faith is believing that God knows best and then living accordingly. It takes real faith for some women to let go of the reigns of leadership and encourage their husbands to fulfill their proper role. Wives, be content as his helper. Enjoy the magic you possess as his wife! That is the path the Lord would have you to take.

God made man and woman. He knows what we are and what we need. God knows best! God came up with two genders and He did so with purpose. Husbands and wives are two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly; they complement one another. They ought not to change God's role for each other. Is your faith strong enough to obey and embrace your divinely-given role?

"An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones" (Prov. 12:4).